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| Families learn together. © Lloyd Lemons |
We are all students and teachers
The gratifying part is enhanced when we can share what we know with others to simplify their lives. Often, that sharing happens without us even realizing it.
My Dad was smart, not in the Ivy League sort of way, but in raw, rough-hewn intelligence. He never made it past the 10th grade, but he accomplished a lot in his short life.
We didn't have a close relationship. I think World War II took its toll on him. He had a lifelong inferiority complex because of his small stature, and his excessive use of alcohol clouded his judgment. And in hindsight, I don't think he ever understood the demands inherent in being a parent. But despite all that, he managed to accomplish impressive things in his 64 years of living.
I saw, I heard
Dad was an autodidact, a self-taught person. He built and repaired things. Once out of the military, he became a tool designer, boat builder, and woodworker. He renovated an old bungalow, became a barber, and started a service business with my mother. He designed and contributed to constructing a new building to house their company. He and my mother both worked hard to provide for their family. Then, as a retired guy, he drilled water wells for his neighbors so they could water their lawns and gardens inexpensively.
As a young person, I was disappointed by not having the kind of Dad who would play ball with me, joke with me, or spend quality time together. We may not have had a close father-and-son bond, but he was still responsible for teaching me many things that I learned vicariously.
The circle of learning
I once sat on the second-story roof of my grandmother's cottage, watching Dad and a couple of other men tear off old shingles and install a new roof. I was eight years old and wasn't allowed to help, but I was allowed to sit by quietly, watch and ask questions. I did so for two days.
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| My Dad built one of these in the 1950s. Digital image by Bard. |
As a child, I watched how he managed the myriad details of building a cabin cruiser in our garage. A boat that took us into Lake St. Clair every weekend and was home to our family while on a two-week cruise through the Great Lakes.
When I got to be a teenager, Dad introduced me to the game of golf, using right-handed clubs. Being a southpaw, I hated it at first. It was awkward, and I rarely hit a good ball, but it likely played a big part in my becoming ambidextrous today.
My Dad wasn't one to proactively teach me things step by step or explain the process, but he allowed me to be a spectator and ask questions. And my frequent observation turned out to be an effective way for me to learn.
We all know there are countless ways to gain knowledge and just as many ways to share it. But as we get older, I think we sometimes feel like our teaching days are waning, and our ideas are looked upon as old hat. But that's not true.
We continue to learn new things throughout our lives and should continue to share what we know. We share with youngsters and oldsters, family and friends. It's how our stories and wisdom live on. Not all will listen, but we make an effort anyway.
When I talk with my grandsons, I often have the feeling that I'm boring them. They don't respond logically. I get the eye-roll, and I can see their minds working to process a hundred things at once. They grimace and try to change the subject. But something fascinating occurs. A day or two later, they come back to me questioning the very ideas we were discussing during that previous conversation. They may not have been listening, but they were hearing, and now we are sharing. Those seemingly unheeded bits of knowledge and wisdom have germinated in a place where they will flourish.
If you Google "circle of learning," you'll find charts and graphs that give all sorts of perspectives on the subject, but the bottom line is this: The circle of life is a circle of learning, and as elders, we are still very much involved in this activity. We each have a gift that we can use and share with others for the rest of our lives. Doing so imparts a life-affirming vitality. Being mindful of this helps us feel thankful, relevant, and it give us purpose.
We have much to give and still so much to learn.
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